In a chaotic and alarming scene that sent West Wing staffers springing into action, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that President Donald Trump had been rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center to watch a woman’s breast exam.
Early this morning, Secret Service agents were seen whisking the president out of a Cabinet meeting and onto his Marine One helicopter after they received word that an attractive 27-year-old Army specialist had arrived at the Bethesda, MD medical facility for her routine cancer-screening procedure. Multiple commercial flights were said to have been grounded or rerouted to clear the airspace and ensure Trump arrived before the patient began to disrobe.
“I knew we were in a race against time when I saw the president’s eyes rolling back as he imagined this lady taking her shirt off,” said Trump aide Trent Dixon, who recalled how he prayed beside the president as they rode in the helicopter, asking God to keep the woman on the examination table as long as possible. “I kept telling him, ‘You’re going to make it, sir. You’re going to see those breasts.’” […]
Damn it, all I saw was “Trump rushed to Walter Reed…” before anything else. Don’t go getting my hopes up like that.
Yeah but fucking seriously. My heart soared.
You can tell it’s satire because the woman is at least 10 years older than he likes.
And at the same time, she’s at least 10 years too young for insurance to cover a routine mammogram.
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40 years older. 55-65+ women
God fucking dammit. I didn’t even finish reading the title, that first half got me bad
Me too! I thought the pedo motherfucker finally kicked it!
Damnit. Had me in the first half.
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