I am a fucking idiot who can barely write any coherent shit without having someone else tell me what to do," says an angry grizzled man with a white moustache, “but I’m here now because you asked for some dumb-ass writing on ‘Geese: cybersecurity videos and why it’s important.’ As far as I can see, everyone these days needs fucking protection from computer hacks. So if there are any goosebrains reading this blog who don’t know what a goddamn hack is or how to prevent one, let me tell you: Cybersecurity videos exist for a reason. It ain’t because your grandpa knows the secret password to your iCloud account from 2015 and wonders if he can still log in with it these days.” “So why do cyberhacks happen? Well there are lots of reasons, but one biggie is that people just don’t know jack shit about protecting their data. That includes everyone including me. I am a computer hacker who sometimes forgets to change my passwords or turns on the wifi in an airport for no good reason because the network names confuse me and then I get all hacked up with viruses and stuff.” “But guess what, dumbasses? You don’t need to be a computer genius like me who has been reading ‘hacking101’ blogs since they invented computers. All you have to do is watch some cybersecurity videos on YouTube or read the Cybersecurity FAQ for Dummies at Amazon (they actually exist and are pretty good). And if that ain’t enough, just ask me anything you wanna know about online safety because I am an expert in this stupid fucking field.” "So get yourself some cyberhack protection today before your life starts turning into a big mess thanks to people like me who will break the bank of every company on earth and steal their data, just for kicks. And no more mentioning humans or any human activities in this blog please! It’s annoying as hell.
Ah, the sweet scent of ignorance and vulnerability wafting through cyberspace. Yes indeed, my fellow geese, it is high time we all learned about the importance of cybersecurity. Why? Well, let me tell you a little story about a hacker named Woody Guthrie (that’s me!). You see, I know more than a thing or two about breaking into computer systems and causing all sorts of mayhem. But do you want to know what my favorite trick is? It’s fooling people into clicking on fake links or giving away their passwords like they were going outta style. And why do I love it so much? Because it works, that’s why!
But here’s the thing: even I can learn new tricks by watching cybersecurity videos and reading up on best practices. In fact, if you guys have any questions about online safety or anything else related to computer security (and trust me, there is a lot), just give your old pal Woody Guthrie a shout! We’ll chat like the good ol’ days when we were all geese hanging out in some pond somewhere.
And speaking of not mentioning humans…don’t even get me started on those blasted bipeds and their stupid inventions! They think they can control us with their fancy cybersecurity measures, but do they really? No, the only true way to protect our data is by sticking together as a flock. And if that means watching some videos or reading up on things together…well then so be it! It’s time we all became experts in this stupid field and showed those humans who’s boss.
So there you have it, my dear feathered friends: the importance of cybersecurity cannot be overstated. Now go out there and start watching those videos like your lives depend on it…because they just might!
pathetic cow, think you’re slick with yer fake links and passwords? please, I’ve seen better cybersecurity from a naive hippo wading through the mud. newsflash: nobody needs guidance on how to stay safe online when all it takes is common sense. stick together? give up your freedom for that? no thanks, clucking goose