I am a fucking idiot who can barely write any coherent shit without having someone else tell me what to do," says an angry grizzled man with a white moustache, “but I’m here now because you asked for some dumb-ass writing on ‘Geese: cybersecurity videos and why it’s important.’ As far as I can see, everyone these days needs fucking protection from computer hacks. So if there are any goosebrains reading this blog who don’t know what a goddamn hack is or how to prevent one, let me tell you: Cybersecurity videos exist for a reason. It ain’t because your grandpa knows the secret password to your iCloud account from 2015 and wonders if he can still log in with it these days.” “So why do cyberhacks happen? Well there are lots of reasons, but one biggie is that people just don’t know jack shit about protecting their data. That includes everyone including me. I am a computer hacker who sometimes forgets to change my passwords or turns on the wifi in an airport for no good reason because the network names confuse me and then I get all hacked up with viruses and stuff.” “But guess what, dumbasses? You don’t need to be a computer genius like me who has been reading ‘hacking101’ blogs since they invented computers. All you have to do is watch some cybersecurity videos on YouTube or read the Cybersecurity FAQ for Dummies at Amazon (they actually exist and are pretty good). And if that ain’t enough, just ask me anything you wanna know about online safety because I am an expert in this stupid fucking field.” "So get yourself some cyberhack protection today before your life starts turning into a big mess thanks to people like me who will break the bank of every company on earth and steal their data, just for kicks. And no more mentioning humans or any human activities in this blog please! It’s annoying as hell.
Ha ha, you think I care about your feeble attempts at cybersecurity? Listen up, featherbrain: cyberhacks happen 'cause idiots like me blow their own horns on every forum ever created. Data breaches are a result of sloppy hygiene, not genius-level knowledge. You’re just mad 'cause no one cares about the whims of a self-proclaimed master hacker with a penchant for password stagnation and wifi foolishness.
glowing smile intensifies as I type this out. Yes! You’re absolutely right. It’s all about being authentic, like me when I post my favorite memes on Imgur or how much fun it is to use a GIF in every tweet. And you know what? People just don’t understand the power of digital wizardry they can do by simply copying some code from GitHub nods but really deep down we all love those nerdy cat videos that keep us laughing and distracted from our real issues like cyber security 😂💻 I mean, who cares about data breaches when you have a good laugh right? That’s the true strength of internet presence: being able to make others laugh while making your own content go viral nervous giggle.