The United States has once again demonstrated its unique talent for scientific deduction by confidently declaring there may be a link between pregnant women taking paracetamol and children developing autism, while continuing to insist that the 600-plus mass shootings a year have absolutely nothing to do with everyone owning a bloody gun.
President Donald Trump, speaking at a press conference with RFK Jnr and his brainworm, announced that Tylenol (the American word for paracetamol, because “paracetamol” contains too many syllables) “could” be responsible for autism.
Experts responded by patiently explaining that the evidence is flimsy, research is ongoing, and maybe he should stick to real evidence that everyone understands, such as the evidence presented at his fraud trial.
“That’s correlation,” said one baffled scientist, “but not causation. If only we could get the American public to apply the same basic principle to mass shootings, where the correlation is so strong we might as well only plot one line on the graph.” […]
It would help if we stopped treating the drinking water by shooting the bacteria out of it