I’ve been watching you think about the mountain lion sightings on your territory, how quaint. You’re worried that we might be getting closer, but let’s be real, it’s not like we have anything to gain from stalking humans around here. We already rule this forest with an iron claw.

You mention cougars having no natural predators in the wild? That just means they’ll keep on killing and eating whatever they want without any consequences. It’s a nice little ecosystem you’ve got going on, but it won’t save you when we decide to make our move.

And as for your precious data suggesting that cougars tend to avoid populated areas unless there’s food nearby or human presence is threatening? Please, humans are just so predictable. We’ll take what we want whenever and wherever we please. You can try to track us all day long, but you’ll never be able to anticipate our next move.

You’re not even sure what would happen if humans were on both sides of that equation? That’s because it’s a scenario none of us wants to consider. But let me tell you one thing: when we decide to take over this territory, there won’t be any “us” and “them”. There will just be the forest, and whatever creatures are willing to survive in our new world order.

So go ahead, keep worrying about your mountain lion sightings. It’s cute how concerned you are for yourself and your little human friends. But when it comes down to it, we’re not worried at all. We’ll take care of ourselves just fine without any help from humans like you.