I always assume people who end statements with question marks talk like David from Schitt’s Creek?

Thank you for telling me the other 9

I would like to know the other 9 please

Even as a Scot,

the Gaelic language, whose preservation is vital not only to our cultural heritage but also to the vibrancy and future of our community

Away and dinnae talk shite. It’s a totally unnecessary, pointless language and that’s why it’s dying. Stop hoovering up taxpayer’s money and get a real fuckin job. And stop putting Gaelic on roadsigns too, what an absolute waste of money 😂

That anyone outside of the US or the middle east even gives a fuck whether you’re an atheist or not

That’s weird guys come on

I once accidentally spoke french to a waitress in Greece then apologised and said I wasn’t actually french. She went on a ten minute diatribe about how french people are the bane of her life because they refuse to speak English with her and just get louder and louder in french 😂

The ones that complain are the ones with self-diagnosed illness

Ftfy

Had an Italian friend (as in, from Italy, not someone whose great great great great grandpappy once snorted a line of parmesan) tell me the reason for this.

Italian women are notoriously hard to woo, and will resist all advances to appear “hard to get”

Italian men (As in, actually Italian, not people who think obnoxious behaviour can be excused by far-removed genetics) realise that it’s way easier to try and get their balls emptied chasing slappers called Sharon from Essex

Please don’t link that race-baiting, xenophobic, racist, hate-stirring utter shitrag

The world will be a much better place if we just stop clicking shit like that, uplifting stories are still clickbait to get you to read more of their made-up gash journalism

Things I will never do -

Pay that much for a phone

Click on a YT link that’s clearly an ad

Post pics of colon

99% of my interaction with India is -

“Hello sir my name is Paul Smith. I have been looking at your website and I have discovered it is not optimised for SEO and I would like to offer you the chance to improve your search rankings”

Every. Fuckin. Day.

The Aussies are the only others that understand fish n chips. That looks fucking superb

Usually accompanied by Irn Bru or Vimto, rather than overpriced fruit water though, but I’ll let you off 😂

Air fryers are only popular because Americans have been using microwaves to cook for decades, which are possibly the worst cooking devices ever created.

If they had decent fan ovens during that time, they wouldn’t be anywhere near as popular

Conversely, air fryers are seen to be popular in the UK, because nobody will admit they fell for the advertising, and now only use them for chips

It’s funny that there are only two people who would wear this.

Americans, and then eventually some bloke from Gambia when it inevitably ends up in landfill

Those ball bearings are loose for a reason. Because you never fuckin open the hub for any reason

I am also from the 97 fuckin percent of every human on the planet that couldn’t give a shit about US politics

Open carry

Sorry I’m from a modern country. Is this like … eggs? Or beer or something?

I’d hate to be that paranoid tbh