It really seems honesty and kindness get you nowhere.
I’ve spent hundreds of hours volunteering. I donated money to good causes when I had it. I spoke up for others.
But I have nothing for it. No one will wish me happy birthday this year. No one will ever do any of the things that I did for others for me.
While evil people succeed. Narcissists can charm others into playing along with their world, people who do their jobs poorly will keep them.
Hard work, honesty, really any of those “positive” values seem to get you nowhere in life.
Of course, but it’s never truly guaranteed for anyone, is it? I’ve been in poverty before, starved and homeless. Today I’m a Punk that got lucky, and I recognize I could just as easily lose it all tomorrow. Ultimately, it’s not up to me what life throws at me at any given moment. I only have control over my reaction. I can tell you from personal experience that material security is not what primarily builds up stability of the mind.
I’m not some jackass that’s going to tell you that basic necessities don’t matter at all, rather that you’ve got to accept that they’re never guaranteed. I won’t spew some bullshit that evil people doing evil things isn’t really all that bad, but rather that you need to accept the reality we all share. Life will throw bullshit after bullshit at you, but it will never dictate how you react to the bullshit. Your material conditions are forever a slave to circumstance, but your mind cannot be conquered by anyone but you.
There is no stability of mind when I spent my childhood being sexually abused and being told to shut up about it, and when I have no social circle or interactions
Removed by mod
this sentiment basically just serve the writer at the expense of the subject and is generally harmful
That’s a very silly take that I can’t help but notice you didn’t back up with any sort of reasoning. If you can legitimately demonstrate harm, by all means, present your evidence.
I’ll just will myself into not having PTSD then. Thanks, I’m cured!
I’m not convinced you even care about getting better with that attitude. Changing the way you frame things isn’t some bullshit like being better just because you belive, but actually grappling with the reality in front of you. It usually takes time and therapy, all of which is up to you whether or not you honestly engage in it. I’m not gonna bullshit you with validating what you originally posted on evil people prospering compared to you, because that shit doesn’t matter. You’re better than that. You must focus on what you control. The ladder is there, you just have to climb it.
Thanks for the lecture dad! I’ll just grit my way into not having the rape nightmares anymore. There’s such ample evidence around me that life isn’t hell, how could I be so delusional to think the world is evil when a child rapist signed an executive order that was used to deny me a job? And therapy is so easy to find, what with selling off my things so that I can make rent!
Okay, it’s obvious you either don’t care about getting better or you’re just the worst troll. You won’t actually engage with a single point I’ve presented. While I certainly wish you would listen, that’s not up to me, is it?
Points you’ve presented:
Stop caring
Get therapy
Wow, so help! I’d never heard any of those things before! I’ll make sure to use the credit cards my ex maxed out after torturing me for two weeks to pay for a therapist right away!
Oh hey, engagement. I’m sorry that I’m unable to think of a way to articulate that without sounding sarcastic, but I do sincerely appreciate actual engagement.
Uh, no. While I believe I didn’t even suggest such a thing, I will also acknowledge that it’s possible I didn’t adequately articulate my primary point. In no way will I ever say to just stop caring, as that’s unrealistic, counterproductive, and just plain silly. My primary point, especially as it relates to the original post, is to accept reality as it is-WITHOUT inserting an opinion. Your feelings will happen no matter what. You can’t let them dictate your response, but you also can’t make them go away. The point isn’t to stop caring, but to redirect what you care about with full cognitive intent. The point is to focus on what you control and to use what you control to influence your desired outcome.
I mean, maybe? I thought my mentioning of therapy was more of a presentation of an option rather than a primary point, but once again I acknowledge that communication is a two way street and I must do my best to clearly articulate my point. To be clear, I don’t think therapy is technically necessary and I didn’t directly suggest it as I had considered a similar point as to what you have made about the monetary cost. Honestly, what they would ultimately be doing in therapy is to try to change the way you frame things by focusing on what you control. There are multiple approaches, but it usually involves figuring out what core beliefs you have that lead you to the targeted bad outcomes and challenging those core beliefs. This is certainly something you can do on your own, but therapy can help build the skills and awareness to do it effectively. But, once again, therapy isn’t technically necessary for such a thing.
I think it’s important for me to reiterate in a manner I believe to be very clear: The point is to engage with reality. The point is to confront your feelings. The point is to self-reflect with honesty. You don’t control what happens to you, but you do have control over your reaction to it. If your focus is on the circumstances, then you will forever be a victim to those circumstances. Yes, things happened to you, just and unjust, but what are you going to do about it?